Tweak Your Online Dating Profile Because Of This and Attract Men You Love

Tweak Your Online Dating Profile Because Of This and Attract Men You Love

Do you want to know the key to writing a online dating profile to catch the eye of the type of good, grownup men you wish to meet?

Be. Real.

That’s it.

When you express who you are and what you want in a positive, simple and authentic way, you inspire the mature right-for-you men to want to know more. At the same time, you kindly signal to the wrong men to move on.

Perfect, isn’t it?

I am aware what I’m talking about.

I was 47 when I met my husband online and became a first-time bride. I was stuck being single for so long. When I finally learned how to ‚market myself honestly online, my hubs made a beeline right to me. Now I help other women in their 40s, 50s, and beyond do what I did.

Follow these three tips to land the right men in your inbox.

Avoid clichés. Use ’nuggets instead.

After reading tidbits of online dating profiles here and truth be told there, when a man gets to yours also it says, ‚Everyone loves nature, I value my family, i really like to laugh and cooking is my passion… his eyes will glaze over. He will be about the next profile before it is possible to say ’still single.

Sure…it’s all true. But if you’d like to stand out from the rest of the crowd, you have to express it in a more engaging and authentic way. Do that by using anything I call ’nuggets.

Nuggets are concise bits of information that express areas of yourself and your life that can help the right men feel a connection. Nuggets help the real, unique, lovely you shine.

He desires to know who you are as being a woman. Clichés tell him nothing.

Use this simple formula to attract your potential suitable matches:

An anecdote that reflects something you desire him to learn about you+ the word ‚because+ your feelings in what you just shared.

As an example, in place of ‚I love nature write this:

Most days, I walk my dog to Solana beach to watch the sunset because being truth be told there makes me feel at peace and thus grateful for my life.

Or, in place of ‚ I love spending time with my family say:

My grown kids and their partners come over monthly for our taco and board game night. The time can be so precious because we stay caught up and we laugh a lot.

Do you really see how the word ‚because magically takes the very fact of your story and helps also share feelings?

These tiny sentences have more depth and provide a much better picture of who you are. And sharing this so authentically is something that will set suitable relationship-minded grownup man into action.

So, use these headlines to give him that ‚ I want to know more! feeling. You can easily tell him your stories when you’re regarding the date.

Attract the right men by telling them who you are – not telling them which they have to be.

One of the biggest mistakes men and women make is using their profile as their shopping list. This will be a big no-no! The last thing a mature, confident, relationship-minded man desires to see is something like:

I want a man who is responsible, fit, funny and a great conversationalist. No couch-potatoes, gamblers or smokers.

Even though the guy is exactly who you say you desire, that demanding attitude is obviously a huge turn-off. Instead, show him that you’re those ideas! For example, if you want him becoming active, write this:

I’m not up on the latest TV shows because I’d rather be taking a class, running with my dog or cooking my famous pasta Bolognese for friends. Or maybe going on a long hike with you?

Men are smart. They’ll figure out you’re talking to them. Not only will Mr. Active-and-Busy feel a connection with you, he will get the vital message that he’s the kind of guy you’re looking for.

Avoid being afraid to tell a important truth.

What about your package breakers? Do they belong in your profile? I’m talking about things your partner must agree with, participate in, understand and/or respect.

Take the nugget example I gave you in tip # 1 about your family. If seeing your household regularly is something you would never surrender and your man needs to participate joyfully, include it! The man who is excited about adding to his family will take notice. The guy who has no curiosity about getting to know a person’s kids will quickly move on.

How about your spiritual philosophy? Can you feel your partner must share these with you? If so, avoid being afraid to include that definitely and kindly:

‚ My connection to [God, Earth, etc.] brings me clarity and delight, and so I go to [church, temple, etc.] most weeks. I enjoy sharing that with my partner.

(Nugget tip: notice there is no ‚because here, but we however communicated the impression.)

A warning: this is often tricky. Don’t explicitly say you desire him to accomplish anything with you unless it’s a 100%, for-sure package breaker. That you do not want to send a good man running by giving him the impression he doesn’t have a quality you say he should have. Instead, use more of a ‚would be nice to have approach.

You will be online to meet up men that have potential to be The One, right? Give attention to standing out to those good, grownup men who’re selecting the exact same things as you. Help them learn some elements of who you are…and even who you are not. Help them feel what it will be like to be with you and start to become part of yourself.

Making your internet dating profile more positive, and authentic will help suitable men find their way to your inbox and help the not-so-right men self-select out.

Now I task you with taking a look at your personal dating profile now and start making alterations. My experience tells me you will have some exciting men coming your way soon.

Candace Bushnell, the author of the book and TV series, Sex into the City, features a new book out today that chronicles her life navigating dating over 50 into the 21st century, Is There However Sex into the City?

I pre-ordered the book and will be diving into it once it arrives. You can easily too .

You likely watched some or every one of the Sex into the City episodes, and/or read the book. Bushnell was masterful at defining good portion of us who have been clumsily navigating life in the 90s; trying to find love, (good) sex, and a seat at the business table.

Ahhh… the angst.

Thinking about Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda…I wonder how they is dealing with all the challenges we face living in this country and world as being a woman in her 50s, 60s, and beyond.

Welp, based on all the pre-release buzz, don’t expect to find out.

The latest York days says ‚this is a very different voice from that in ‘Sex additionally the City,‘ both chaste (Bushnell claims she hasn’t had sex for many years) and chastened.

Bushnell apparently does address dating and sex after 50. You’ll no doubt relate genuinely to her approach to the topic:

She says that ‚dating 30 years ago was actually fun. She didn’t find it in that way now.

‚I wanted to call the book ‘Middle-Aged Madness,‘ Bushnell told LA days magazine. ‚You have to understand that in the past no person thought that fifty-something men and women would need to go on dating apps and take their clothes off in front of strangers. No person ever thinks that that’s what their fifties are going to look like.

Amen compared to that.

(While true, I’m confident that Ms. Bushnell can start to own fun if she learns to Date Like a Grownup. Candace…are you listening?)

The toughest challenge? Not sex into the city. It’s becoming invisible.

Irrespective of sharing some Tinder stories and the like, it seems Bushnell also addresses what she finds becoming her true enemy: ageism. In the NYT article, Bushnell supplies the perfect metaphor for this.

She says that the bank told her their algorithm won’t let them give her a mortgage because she was a self-employed single woman over 50. ‚Because I had no applicable bins, she says, ‚I was not any longer a demographic. Which meant, into the world of algorithms, I didn’t exist.

Ah ha, the greatest challenge of aging as being a woman: becoming invisible.

Do you know what I’m talking about.

Becoming less noticed, less sought after, having to work doubly hard to make ourselves heard and seen. That’s a fact jack for women over 50, unless we’ve a hell of a lot of power – think Nancy Pelosi, Oprah, Jane Fonda.

For the the greater part of us, irrespective of whether we have been laying out an innovative new strategy into the boardroom; trying to order a cocktail in our local lounge; or hoping the attractive, active older gentlemen find us online…it’s harder to have eyes and ears on us.

Hell, our everyday lives are far from over! So, how to handle it?

Exactly like burning our bras into the 1970s and refusing becoming pigeon-holed as second-class citizens, once more our generation is regarding the forefront of another revolution.

The thoughts of my colleague and friend, writer and speaker Barbara Hannah Grufferman, gives us excellent best path here:

Make no mistake: there is a revolution brewing and women over 50 are moving it forward.

We demand nothing not as much as a societal sea change as to how women over 50 are viewed in this country. Compared to that end, here are a few thoughts to carry with you as we march forth on this journey …together:

Love yourself, love yourself, stay as healthy as you can, move the human body, be informed, stay engaged, use your mind, keep a handle on your own finances, be bold, be brave, walk with confidence, live with style . . . and then . . . you should understand how certainly wonderful life after 50 is.

50: It’s more than an age. It’s a action.

Use Grace and Frankie as teachers.

The stunning thing about being this age is we finally DO know who we are, right? Or we’re getting damn close to knowing.

Looking to pop-culture I look at the amazing Grace and Frankie series on Netflix. Jane Fonda and Lily Tomli

n play women over 60 who’re figuring out ‚who they’re after their divorces and, as they do, they unabashedly demand to be seen.

Both women are beautifully portrayed as still learning, however vital and still engaged in the romantic world. Are they having sex in the city? Hell yes they’re!

Frankie is a tie-dye loving free spirit which embraces meditation, her bong and saving the planet. She wears her endless expressions of emotions, in addition to her spectacular gray hair proudly.

Grace is an more often than not uptight, all-put-together, ambitious woman which proudly goes after her need to remain useful and significant. She unapologetically uses her martinis to unwind and laugh at herself additionally the world.

These incredibly imperfect women are done apologizing for whoever they disappointed and whatever they didn’t accomplish. They’re boldly taking on the space they deserve in this world.

You can forget atoning.

You can forget bending such as a pretzel to please.

Wrinkles, vaginal dryness, forgetfulness, creaky bones be damned…

these women of a certain age refused to be invisible.

The whole world saw and enjoyed these old ladies. Why? properly because they are being who they are, even flaunting who they are. They’re rightly going after their aspirations without letting people generate barriers.

That’s what Candace Bushnell seems to be doing in her new book; like she’s done in yesteryear. Letting it all out…unapologetically. At least I hope that’s where she’s going.

Be unabashedly who you are.

How about you?

So what if you’re of a woman of a certain age, in midlife, a boomer, aging…whatever you wish to call it!

Are you…

done with apologizing, faking it and making excuses,

ready to fully embrace your mature, capable, unique bumps-imperfections-and-all power,

and done accepting invisibility?

I get it. Jumping up and down screaming ‚look at me doesn’t work when you’re a 60-year-old, gray-haired, shorter-than-you-used-to-be woman. (i am aware because I keep trying.) But you know what does work?

Just. Being. You.

And then allowing your (real) self to be seen.

That’s it.

Grace and Frankie have educated us. You see…you are as special and vital as these kooky, flawed, breakable fictional characters.

Is There However Sex into the City, Candace Bushnell?

My hope is that in Candace Bushnell’s new book she will be letting her awesome 60-year-old flag fly, showing us how she actually is proudly engaging in the next phase of her journey as a woman…continuing to break age and sex barriers with her humor, resilience and endless creativity.

Is topadultreview.com there however sex into the city? My guess is, hell, yes. Okay…maybe not as much. Nevertheless now it’s on OUR terms, girlfriend. As it ought to be. If you let it be.